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Feeling alive…

[00:00:00] Today, we are going to talk about The importance of the rejuvenation piece of rest, relaxation, and rejuvenation. Now before we get into it, I want to give you a backstory because this came up recently where I felt the need to record this episode for you focused on the rejuvenation piece of rest, relaxation, and rejuvenation.


[00:00:28] I recently attended a session called illumination and release, and it is a spiritual experience. And what you focus on is. Completing the past. So you journal about the past is also prompts and you're doing this with others. And a spiritual teacher is guiding you throughout the workshop, but you, you complete the past journaling, doing some reflection.


[00:00:57] And then we talk about the soul's desire for the [00:01:00] present, including what you need to let go of from your past and your present. And then we vision, we do visioning exercise for the future, again, including the journaling and the reflection. And before we started. Addressing past, present, and future. The spiritual teacher pulled an Oracle card and she asked the deck, what is our intention for our time together?


[00:01:26] And the card that she pulled was sacred pleasure. All about really enjoying excitement, finding the joy and pleasure now feeling guilty because you're experiencing pleasure or you are having a playful time or you're having a joyful time and you're laughing and having fun. And that was. You know, it's not earth shattering or you hear me say, you're like, yeah, have fun.


[00:01:53] Hmm. Hmm. Have fun. How many times do you just have fun every week? [00:02:00] Every month? How much do you really allow yourself to experience pleasure in the way that you need to experience it? And so what ended up happening for me in that session. And there's a lot that happened. I'll share more about it. Maybe another time.


[00:02:20] But what was really important to me during that session was when I was doing the visioning exercise for the future. There are these critical questions that you you're asked, and you also pull Oracle cards to help you. interpret what's going on in your life, where your energy is. And all of my Oracle cards were on point were, were on point.


[00:02:48] So I'll say about that, but the one for visioning for the future, when I pulled the Oracle card, the Oracle card was relief and [00:03:00] repair. And what that meant. And obviously I'm sharing you the Oracle card without giving you the history of which deck it came from. And, I mean, the deck was Crystal Mandala Oracle Guide by Alana Fairchild.


[00:03:15] So I'll share that that was the deck. And it comes with a book that tells you what each Oracle card means and how you can interpret it. And, but there are other Oracle decks that I'm not giving you the name of because I don't remember, but this one I did. I wrote it down because I thought this was very applicable to my life and I feel like you will resonate with it.


[00:03:35] That's why I'm sharing it with you. So the Oracle card was relief and repair. Again, this is about, this was in the visioning for the future exercise. And I actually wrote down sentences from the description of relief and repair that Oracle card from the book that explains the meaning and. This is what it said, and I'm going to read quotes to you.


[00:03:59] This [00:04:00] is from the book. Spiritual light is like the light of the sun. It brings life and joy, but too much can burn. If that happens to you, you'll feel overwhelmed, overheated, overexcited, overstretched, mentally, physically, and emotionally. You must learn to balance your love for the light with devotion and care for Your being.


[00:04:25] There are times your body needs softness and time to simply be and express itself in a spontaneous and carefree. Now, for me, and for so many of us, including you, that can mean that you, you want to do so much, so much is important to you. There are a lot of you who feel like you have this greater purpose, or you have a job that's very demanding, that has its purpose in your life.


[00:04:58] And [00:05:00] you this reminds us that you and I and all of us need to remember that we cannot go too far in one direction or the other. If we go too far in one direction or the other, we're going to experience. This overheating, this overstretching. We're gonna overstretch ourselves and it's so important that no matter what we're doing, we remember to pull back to the center and even that out a little bit.


[00:05:28] It's important for us to know how to pull back to get more to the center when we're feeling that overstretching, and I really love that word, overstretch. It's like a rubber band, right? Overstretching. It'll break, but stretches too far and. I was thinking about how we can incorporate more of that repair piece, that repair piece of repair and relief, and how can we focus on [00:06:00] pleasure rather than always thinking repair is resting and relaxing.


[00:06:07] Now that's why I wanted to focus today on how we can take care of ourselves in different ways. Thank you. So remember, there is rest, relaxation, rejuvenation. Now, this is my, this is my view, right? There were those three buckets, and if we look at rest and relaxation, we've, that, that big, that big bucket We think of things like sitting in silence.


[00:06:37] I always think of, so my daughter, my youngest daughter, she's two. She loves the Lion King. I don't know how, because when I was what, 10, I was scared of Scar, but this girl's not scared of Scar. She's like Lion King, Lion King. So there's a part where Mufasa, the dad, is saving Simba from the hyenas. In the beginning of the movie [00:07:00] and he's over them and they're start talking, talking, talking, talking.


[00:07:04] And he's like, silence. That is what I think of when I think of quiet time. When I think of my children, I'm like silence, you know, in my brain, I don't say that out loud. But that's one piece of rest and relaxation is right as one silence. You want silence, you want quiet time, you want alone time. That's a huge piece of rest and relaxation.


[00:07:25] And a huge piece of you just, it's a huge piece of you navigating the world. You need some space for yourself. Then there's the. next layer of rest and relaxation, which is pampering pampering herself, right? So maybe you get a massage, you go to the, you're going to pedicure, you get a manicure. Um, and those are amazing things to do.


[00:07:47] And you should treat yourself with those things. Um, when you find, not when you find time, when you create the time for those, those are definitely things that can make you feel just [00:08:00] like you love yourself, right? Those are just little things you can do. So I'm all about the pampering oneself. And then the other thing rest and relaxation could be for you again, this is not an exhaustive list.


[00:08:13] There are things that are not going to be on my list that you're going to think of, um, and that's perfectly fine. But the other piece to rest and relaxation could be you watching TV. You watching The Voice or American Idol, or So You Think You Can Dance. I think that show's still on. I definitely love that show.


[00:08:35] Or maybe you're watching Suits, like I'm watching right now. So maybe rest and relaxation is like, you know what, I'm gonna take four hours and binge on a show. That's okay. When I talk about, when I talk about how you spend your time, what I'm really talking about is how you're spending your time intentionally.


[00:08:53] If you say, Hey, this tonight, I am going to watch suits [00:09:00] because I want to, and that's what I want to be doing right now. And that's what I need to be doing. That's fine. It's when you unintentionally are spending four hours on social media a day. It's when you're unintentionally watching Netflix every night till 10 or 11.


[00:09:14] And then you tell me you're tired, you're tired the next day. And you tell me you don't have time to do certain other things that you say are important to you. That's when I have, when we, when I'm going to challenge you, because that's not intentional. You're doing that out of habit, or you're doing that for some other reason, not intentionally creating space for yourself or wanting to really watch a show you enjoy and you and you're resting, putting your feet up and enjoying the ride as you watch the show.


[00:09:42] So that's, those are some of the ways. That we take care of ourselves through rest and relaxation, right? I'm thinking more of alone time. That's like, if we, if we think about it, if we're thinking of an umbrella activity, it's going to be alone [00:10:00] time. And then rejuvenation can also be alone time, but not always.


[00:10:06] So I loved definitions. I love giving you. An anchoring you and definitions and Merriam Webster defines rejuvenate as to make young or youthful again, give new vigor to or to restore to an original or new state. And I love this definition because oftentimes, especially mothers, after you have children, you recall what it was like before you had kids and when you were young in your twenties, thirties, and you wonder how you can feel alive.


[00:10:52] In similar ways, you have children. Obviously, they make you feel alive that can we just say that is a baseline. We [00:11:00] understand that we're I'm talking about that feeling of before I had children. I was this person and now I've evolved into this person. How do I get back to doing certain things that made me feel a certain way before I had children.


[00:11:14] We're not saying we don't want our, we don't want our children. We're not saying that we don't like having children. That's not what moms are saying. Moms are saying, hey. I've had to sacrifice a lot of myself and having children and taking care of them on a daily basis. How do I get back to me in this new evolution of a person I am as a mom?


[00:11:36] And that's why I love the word rejuvenate, because it's again talking about how to return to either original or new state. So for me, it's like a new evolved person. And how do you make useful again? How can you feel that, that aliveness again, that energy again? How can we fill up our cups again? How can we fill [00:12:00] up our buckets again to feel that energy?


[00:12:03] Again, I'm going to go back to the sacred pleasure to feel that pleasure and that joy that makes us feel invigorated. How do we, how do we do that? And when I think of rejuvenation, I think that It is underestimated and it is not focused on enough when we talk about self care, which is why I want to talk about it with you today because rejuvenation I have realized is one of the most important things you can do for yourself to feel like you.


[00:12:37] And to connect with other people, since relationships, I've talked about this before, since quality relationships are the number one predictor of your happiness in life period. And that is from the longest running longitudinal study from Harvard university examining what makes a good life. [00:13:00] Okay. So I want to really stress that there's a book called the good life.


[00:13:03] Go get it, go read it. It is amazing. That was a side note. So when we talk about rejuvenation, we're talking about what's going to bring you that joy, what's going to give you energy, what's going to make you feel alive again, that fills your cup just as much as rest and spending time alone and just zoning out or going for a walk by yourself.


[00:13:24] Rejuvenation is important. to fill your cup. So things like spending time with a really good friend. Maybe you go for a walk with your friend. There's, to me, there's nothing like going for a walk with a good friend. You're doing some good exercise, you're taking a walk, and you're finding your flow with your friend.


[00:13:44] You're filling that cup. And sometimes, if you have children, and for example, it's a rainy day, And your home, your kids, I mean, I'm talking about like younger kids, your home and these children, they need to get [00:14:00] outside. Young children need to go outside. They need to expend their energy, get it out. And when it rains, it's not a good day for moms.


[00:14:10] It's not a good day because those kids are going woohoo inside that's okay. So what if you called a good friend and if they live close by? And they have, they have small children. You say, Hey, what are you doing? If we're all stuck in our houses, just come over and we can be all stuck together and have messy.


[00:14:30] And we can have a messy house with you here. And we can, you know, get takeout or I can cook, whatever, make it really easy and informal, get pizza for the kids, or don't cook pasta, make it simple, right? That can work too, where you're spending time with a good friend, right? And your kids are going to be playing together, hanging out.


[00:14:50] Um, kids make friends. Kids, even if you go to a random park, kids will find a way to create a baseball game and play together. So it could be spending time with your friend one on [00:15:00] one. Again, dinner, lunch, walk, whatever you want. Or two, spending time with them and the kids around. And let me tell you, remember, I've told you the story where if a friend who doesn't have children says to me, no, no, no, no.


[00:15:14] What comes to brunch and bring the kids. And I say, no, because then we can't have adult conversation. If you bring your children and they have children to a house, I'm talking about a restaurant, okay. A house, sometimes they'll go off or your apartment, condo, whatever you, you got and they'll play together and they'll give you space to talk because they're going to be talking to each other.


[00:15:34] So it's actually something that. My may work. I'm not saying it's always not going to work. You may hear the fighting the, you know, you may hear all that. It's a strategy you could try to use. The other way we can make ourselves feel alive and energized. Is by picking up a new activity or a hobby that you haven't tried before, but always wanted to.


[00:15:59] So [00:16:00] I recently signed myself up for singing and piano, two things I've always wanted to do, but never quote unquote had time. So I made the time by signing up and committing to it financially and. Like I had to sign up, do an application, all that good stuff. And the cool thing is my daughter who loves to sing.


[00:16:21] She has been asking me to sing for a couple of years now. And the voice teacher said she was too young. And now she's. She could try. So she's going to be taking lessons at the same time I am. So we'll have this cool mother daughter time where I'm off doing my singing piano lesson and she's off doing her own, but then we can, I can bring her and I can pick her up at the same time.


[00:16:45] But that's something that I would not have done before, right? Cause I'm like, I don't have time, but now I made time for once a week to do that. And it could be something else. I have so many friends who want to learn how to play different sports. They want to do [00:17:00] tennis. They want to. Do lacrosse. I mean, they want to do they want to get, you know, or they want to get back to an activity they used to do.


[00:17:09] So that's another thing. Maybe it's not picking up an activity. Maybe it's not picking up, you know, horseback riding, which I've I'm starting to I also want to do that. It could be picking something back up that you used to do as a kid, especially as like a college athlete or a high school athlete. So I have friends who want to go back to tennis, go back to basketball, go back to playing a sport or playing an instrument like the guitar that they used to play.


[00:17:36] And that makes them feel energy that makes them feel youthful again. That makes them feel like, Oh, right. That was a part of myself I loved. And that gave me something so complete and so filling and I get to do that again. Okay. I can create time for that. That's another way you can fill up your cup as by doing something you used to do [00:18:00] before and getting back in touch with that.


[00:18:02] The other thing you can try, and this is maybe the fourth thing I'm listing here is. Making sure that you're connecting with people at work that you really care about. So I think people underestimate the influence and impact your relationships at work have on you. If you don't like who you work with, I'm going to tell you nine times out of 10, you're not going to like your job.


[00:18:31] If you don't like the energy of the people around you that you work with, nine times out of 10, I'm going to bet 10 out of 10, you're not liking your job. Because why would you? If energy is not good, you're not going to feel good. You're not going to want to be around it all the time. So this is why, if you have one person you can connect with, and now I'm talking about healthy environments, healthy work environments, if you have people you can connect with, connect with them.


[00:18:59] Like [00:19:00] they're, they're your people. You care about them. Make it a point to talk to them. Make it a point to go grab coffee or have a zoom meeting with them or whatever works for you. Make it a point to connect with those people. Again, relationships are important. If you care about them, you Going to have to put in some effort to maintain them and to strengthen them.


[00:19:24] And sometimes people at work, sometimes not always, but for me, I found that there are many people at work who I have become lifelong friends with because we both put in the time over the years. And that into that friendship that started as colleagues, right? The fifth thing I would say for rejuvenation that you could try again, not an exhaustive list is just things that I've been thinking about and that I've actually that I've been doing more recently and they've been They've been really powerful for me and I really wanted to share it with you to see if you could try it too and [00:20:00] see if it works for you.


[00:20:01] The fifth thing is having some fun. So I know that I mentioned hobbies before that could be your fun, right? Or even things that are not hobbies, but just things you can do. Right. So for me, uh, I rode a horse a few months ago or yeah, a few months ago and it literally changed my life because I'd never ridden a horse before, but I've always loved horses.


[00:20:24] And when we were trotting. The horse's name was freedom. He was like 26 years old when we started trotting and I had never even ridden a horse. And then she's the instructor said, Oh, let's do trotting. And I was terrified. And I said, sure. But terrified inside we were trotting. And that horse, I could tell that horse was like, this is amazing.


[00:20:44] And so I, I also thought it was amazing and I was scared, but I was excited at the same time. And I started laughing hysterically on the horse. Cause I was I can't believe this horse was very old at this point. Is like having the time of his life and I am too. This is amazing. It feels so, I feel so connected to [00:21:00] this horse and it feels so freeing.


[00:21:02] Again, the horse's name was freedom. So that was fitting, but even riding a horse, like the joy I felt, I can't even explain it to you or I recently, I recently took this cardio class called cardio drumming and a couple of people had said, Oh, it's a, it's a fun class. I'm like, okay, cardio drumming, whatever.


[00:21:25] I'll try it. And you literally take drumsticks and you are drumming the, an exercise ball, like a massive exercise ball. And you're, you're like kind of dancing and then drumming and then squatting and lunging and dancing. And it was. So much fun. And everyone in the class, you're laughing at some point. But again, it was just as fun.


[00:21:44] It wasn't supposed to be this intense workout, but it was a really, uh, enjoyable time. And it was silly too. Like that we, she played like vanilla ice ice baby at one point and we were doing different like old school moves. I mean, ridiculous and [00:22:00] fun and hilarious. And we had a good time. Or even if you want to try Go Anything that makes you feel more free in your body.


[00:22:10] So you want to have yourself a dance party? Cool. You want to take a Zumba class? Cool. No, I'm not saying that if you are feeling burnt out and stressed, just go to a Zumba class and you'll feel better. You know, that's not what I'm saying. You need rest, relaxation and rejuvenation. You need, I am a huge proponent of therapy.


[00:22:29] So if you're feeling burnt out, you have any type of symptoms of anything else, I suggest you obviously see a licensed medical professional and you get the support that you need. I also know that we have. And we can do things to pour back into our buckets. We have to fill up our buckets. And as much as rest and relaxation are important, so is rejuvenation.


[00:22:55] So is making yourself feel alive again. So is making yourself feel [00:23:00] more alive. And We have to remember that when we were younger, we had fun, right? Like we had challenges. Yes, we are still going to have challenges. You will have emotional pain in life. You will have more challenges. There are things that are going to happen to you that are incredible and that knock you on your ass.


[00:23:20] That is life. That is what life is. We're here right now. So what can you do with this moment, with the next six months, the next year? What can you do to make yourself feel better? And a lot of making yourself feel better is how do I fill up my bucket? the best way that I can. So here's what I really want you to ask yourself, right?


[00:23:43] I want you to ask yourself, what do I need to do to make myself feel more alive and energized? In this moment, like, what do I need the most and then ask yourself, why is that important [00:24:00] to you? Ground yourself in the, the why behind the what, and you're more likely to make it happen for yourself. Pick one thing.


[00:24:08] Don't go crazy. Pick one thing, pick one thing. Don't get overwhelmed. Don't be the overachiever with this stuff. Like I feel you. I so feel you because I'm you. Pick one thing and do that, see how it feels, and then when you question whether you quote unquote can quote unquote find the time to do it again, you will remember the feeling you had when you did it, and you will do it again.


[00:24:30] You will want that feeling again. Now, I know maybe you're thinking to yourself, This will never work for me, Eddie V. This will never work for me. I don't have time. Uh, you're thinking of all the reasons why. You can't, you know, give yourself rest, relaxation, or rejuvenation. You're telling me you don't have time because you have so many responsibilities that you handle.


[00:24:57] Like your kids, the house, [00:25:00] your work. You're like, well, I don't have time for anything else. I don't have time to take care of myself. I'm prioritizing other people. I'm prioritizing their needs. My boss's needs. My kids needs. Family members. If I'm taking care of, of, of, with your, taking care of your, your parents, right?


[00:25:18] And then you may feel guilty or selfish for taking time and resources away from your family, your kids. Maybe you feel you, you don't have the support that you would like. Maybe your husband doesn't change a diaper. Maybe your husband says he babysits the children. But dads don't babysit. They are dads.


[00:25:43] It's their job to watch their own children. And your husband better learn how to change a diaper. If you want more freedom to do the things you want to do, you're gonna have to train your husband to do stuff. He's gonna have to learn. And then maybe you, [00:26:00] you let that baby home with him alone. If that baby's diaper isn't clean when you get back, You're going to say, Hey, you know, next time you have to change the diaper.


[00:26:10] And here's how you do it. And if, and if the, the, the sticky part is all twisted, so what he did it, he changed the diaper. Right? Like, there's a little bit of, I mean, I get it, but you need to, you need to tell your husband and you need to have a conversation with him or your partner, your partner or your husband, whoever it is, that like, we're in this together, you know, you're a parent too.


[00:26:37] And for me to be okay, I need you to step up and I need you to, I need you to fulfill your part of the bargain. I know I'm going to get off my soapbox now. I'm just saying it pains me when I see mothers who are doing everything and the husbands are like, I don't want to change the diaper. I don't, I don't know what to do with these children when I'm by myself with them.


[00:26:56] What do I do with these children? What are you talking about? They're your kids. You [00:27:00] figure it out. I know you figure it out at work. Figure it out at home. Okay, again, I'm getting back off my soapbox. Maybe the reason why you feel like you can't do any of this, in addition to not having maybe support or resources, or you feel like you don't have time when you know it's about creating time, is that you, you are internalizing the societal pressure and expectation that you should not be doing it.


[00:27:24] You are internalizing the societal pressure and expectation that you are supposed to neglect your own needs and sacrifice yourself for your children. And obviously I'm here to tell you that you cannot be the best mom or the best professional or the best leader or the best sister or the daughter or the best partner or the best friend.


[00:27:47] You cannot do that to the best of your ability. If you have not taken care of yourself first. You know this logically. I say it all the time. You also know it logically and what you're doing is you're [00:28:00] sacrificing yourself for all these other things and people, but you're forgetting that you need to be taking care of yourself because if you're not around, they don't get taken care of anyway.


[00:28:11] So it's actually in their best interest that you do take care of yourself. And it's in your best interest, too. So you can, again, get back to the center, so you're not overstretched, overheated, overexhausted. And you can be that person that you really want to be. And you can be yourself. And you can feel alive in being yourself.


[00:28:31] So I did want to call out some of those reasons that I have heard many times, but why You can't take care of yourself or you feel like you can't because we know that you you could and that's why I asked you that question is like what do I need the most to feel alive and to feel rejuvenated. I really want you to consider looking at your life, the resources in the sport that you do have.


[00:28:57] And some that you need to have conversations about, [00:29:00] frankly, look at your life. And instead of thinking about all the reasons why you can't make this kind of time for yourself and find a way to make yourself more, a lot more, feel more alive and feel more energy and pleasure and joy. Ask yourself, what can I do with what I have?


[00:29:19] What do I need right now? The most to feel this way. And do that again. Once you do it, you're going to remember the feeling. The next time you try to resist it with an excuse, you're going to remember the feeling you have when you did do it. And you're going to say to yourself, okay, I'm going to do it again because I remember that feeling and it felt really awesome.


[00:29:38] Because anything you do right now is going to be better than doing nothing. Any step you take, no matter how tiny, is going to be better than doing nothing, right? Because what's the cost to you? What's the cost of maintaining the status quo? What is the cost of that? We all often talk about the cost of doing something, right?


[00:29:59] [00:30:00] We don't often talk about the cost of staying right where we are now. And the spirit. of rest, relaxation, and rejuvenation. And the spirit of that, I am taking a lengthy break, about a six week, eight week break from the podcast. And I wanted to share it with you so that you didn't think I was like, poof, gone.


[00:30:22] But I wanted to share with you because I'm serious when I talk about prioritization. Of yourself care and of yourself and abreast relaxation and rejuvenation. I'm serious. It's what I do. I don't just teach you these things. I live them. They are part of my existence every single day. It is how I maintain my spiritual, mental, and emotional well being.


[00:30:44] You know this. You know my journey from last year to this point. You know what I teach. You know my perspective on this. I take it seriously and that's why I get so passionate about it because I know what happens when [00:31:00] you neglect it because I'm an example of that, but I'm also an example of what can happen when you double down and you prioritize it because my life is totally different than it was a year ago.


[00:31:10] And I'm so grateful for that. I'm grateful for the support I received for the support I asked for for. The love of those around me for friends who were there for me for friends who I confided in because I had relationships where I could share and friends who cared enough to be like, Hey, I haven't heard from you for a while.


[00:31:30] What's going on? Right. I am grateful for that. And I also recognize that I have agency over things that I can control and I have to let go of the things that I cannot. So I'm asking you to take agency over the things you can control. And I do believe. One of those things is your mental, emotional, spiritual, physical well being.


[00:31:54] This is why I want you to focus on not just rest and relaxation, but [00:32:00] rejuvenation. How can I feel more alive, more energy, more excitement? How can I fill my bucket in that way? How can I do that? So that is my ask of you will for you to ask yourself those questions so you can have that betterment of your well being.


[00:32:20] Especially for the rest of the summer. If you're listening to this in August and I will be doing that for the next six to eight weeks. I will be taking a break because my well being is also important to me. So until then, until next time, I'm not going to tell you again, or maybe I will. You are more powerful than you can even imagine.


[00:32:42] You have the power and you have the birthright to live the life and have the career that you want and that you deserve. You just have to claim it.

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