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Episode 13 Transcript

Arivee Vargas: Hi I'm Arivee Vargas. I believe we're all so powerful beyond our wildest imaginations. We have the ability to overcome the fears, self-doubt, negative beliefs and all the other roadblocks that hold us back from having the life and career we really want and deserve. That's why I created the Humble Rising podcast.

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I want to help you get clear on what a joyful and fulfilling life and career looks like for you. And help you go after it with all you have. Each week, we'll talk to badass inspirational women sharing their journeys. We’ll dig into their successes, their failures, challenges, the different shifts, in their careers, in their personal lives and so much more. Be inspired, get motivated, and get ready to rise. This is the Humble Rising Podcast.

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Arivee: Do you ever wonder what you wish you knew, 10 or 15 years back or even more right, going even further back those lessons that you could have applied to your life, that you've learned overtime, but you didn't know back then. I have a bunch of advice I'd give to my younger self and to be honest, if we are really honest. This is advice to probably to my younger self that applies even now, right? It's the same advice that I would give myself today. It is the same and I wanted to stick to four pieces to make it more manageable, but there's probably more. I just wanted to stick to four and I wanted to share with you what that advice would be and so this is really for those who maybe you are in your 20s. Men you are looking for some advice or some guidance. I'm hoping this is helpful. And then also for those of us who you know were in the season of our lives or were reflecting and thinking about where we've been, how far we've come, the progress we've made and what we still have to remind ourselves of today. So here are my four pieces of advice. And this remember this is what I would tell my younger self, but that totally still applies to my present-day self.

The first is courage. This is about having the courage to do what you want to do in life. Not always what others expect you to do or expect of you. And I'm channeling a little bit of Bronnie Ware here. Right, Bronnie Ware. She wrote the top five regrets of the dying. She was a nurse who cared for the sick and the dying. And she wrote this book. And the number one regret was something to the same effect of I wish I had the courage to live a life that I wanted to live versus the one other expected of me and I I believe this is one of the key things. The key things that you need to really step fully into and embody to feel content with your life. It's more than the everyday stuff, right? This is beyond what you do every day. We can experience joy one day and be present in the day and feel really great, but then have a month or two months or two years or 15 years of just being on treadmills, drinking from Firehoses, right, because we haven't stopped to think about what do I really want out of my life? What do I want for my life? And focusing on that big picture, I know that might not be for everyone, but when I'm old and I'm nearing the end of my life, I want to be able to say that I lived my life capital L I V E D. I lived my life. And capital M Y to right my I lived my life. I didn't work, work, work, work and never look up to ask why am I doing this? What is this for? Is this aligned with who I am and what I want for my life? I wanna look back and be able to say that I did things that meant something to me. They meant something to others. I wanna look back and know I contributed that I shared that I served with all of my ability with all of my capabilities, that I connected and that I was a part of a greater cause to really lift and advance others, especially women of color especially Latinas who are the children of immigrants, right, because there are a whole set of expectations that come with that responsibility racially, if you are, especially if you are, you are the child of of immigrant parents, and we have to be able to understand the relationship between honoring our parents, sacrifice. Their dreams for us and legacy. Right. Understand the list between those things and honoring ourselves, our dreams and our desires. So thats the first one is courage.

The second is intention. You know, we have to be intentional about how we spend each day, month and year. The times are gonna pass regardless, right? The time will pass anyway. Do you want to pass the time the way you intended or where momentum just took you, right. We wanna end up in a place that we actually wanted to be. We were working in that direction. You wanna get off the hamster wheel? Get off that treadmill. Drinking from a firehose, right? Wanna get off of that? I know it's hard, but you have to be able to look around. You look up and look around because your attention, your attention will go where your intention goes. How do you wanna spend your time? What do you wanna be doing? Why is that important to you? Dig clarity around that, and then act accordingly.

The third is you decide. So, this is a big one, right? Don't wait too long for opportunities to come your way. The ball is always in your court, right? You have the power to decide your next move and create a different opportunity. You can't feel bad for wanting something more than what you're doing, and you can't feel bad for wanting to grow in new and different ways. Right and I’m talking really about your career and in your life. You know I can't tell you how many women wait right. We're talking about career or your job and and you know, they wanna be thought of oppor... You want you wanna be thought of for opportunities. I'm saying it. You wanna be thought of all the time for things that come right. But here is the thing and you have to understand this on I’am about to give you some tough love right now because because you need to hear this. No one is thinking of you when they go home. When they leave the office, pre COVID right and post COVID when they leave the office. They're not thinking about you. Everyone has their own stuff going on their own challenges, their own wants their own needs, their own families, their own, their own staff. They aren't going home endlessly thinking about how to give you. Exactly what you need and what you want, especially if you aren't clear about what that is, and you haven't communicated it. And even when you think you have communicated something and you're doing all the work for the opportunity and it's not available to you. You still have a decision to make. You don't need to wait. You can move on and do the thing you wanna do. You can move on and explore the things you wanna explore, right? If you feel your ment for more than what you're doing, it's not some fake feeling. Don't say oh, but I should be grateful for where I am. I love who I work with. Like I I guess that I that that was me. I get it. But if you're feeling that you're meant for more and you're capable of more and you know that you have more to give, you're just not able to fully do that with where you're at and you aren't given the space to do that, trust yourself. Trust it. That's your inner compass literally screaming at you. Being like, please trust me. I know what I'm doing. You have to trust that feeling and do something about it. Don't complain about it. Do something. Stop waiting. Do something right. It is the power of decision. So make one and then do something.

The fourth, I know I that one. It's really important to understand the power of decision, right. It's like one of the biggest things for me because it because I felt a little bit powerless. I used to feel that way. But not realizing that I had so much power to decide and to do something different. That's why I'm so passionate about that. The 4th and the final piece of advice I'd give my younger self which applies today is own the unique value that you bring to the table. This means that you're not going to let someone define your value where you're gonna ask for more in terms of. You know your salary and your promotion, all of that. Yes, and own the unique perspective you bring to the table to every table you are at. We're only gonna know more. And learn more. From your perspective, if you share it. So, stop being so damn quiet. And I'm raising my hand because I used to be that way. Believe it or believe it or not. I was very hesitant early in my career. I felt so unsure of myself. I felt so unsure of the work that I was doing. Was it a good job? Did I know what I was talking about? I felt that way so much earlier in my career, to the point where a senior associate at one point at the law firm I was working at took me aside after meeting. And said, you know, you need to be more confident when you give an answer to the question, the partners asking he's like, you know the answer. You're right. But you you actually have to believe that cause I was hesitating. I was like well, I think UM, you know just. I was feeling small, right? So, we have to really own the value that we bring, I just didn't realize I had value at that point and had I understood and really felt and embodied the value that I brought to that table. It would have come across. And that person would have never given me that feedback. That is the advice I'd give to my younger self.

So, courage and tension, the power of decision. And owning your unique value. Now, there's obviously so much more advice I could give, but I wanted to focus on those four. Because I think these are the four that are also bubbling up from from other women. I've been talking to and and client since I really wanted to focus on those four cause I'm seeing those themes across those relationships in those conversations, and these also applied to us right now to be honest, right. And they're really reminders of the power we already have to make decisions and take the action that we need to take to improve our lives, to improve our careers, to level up in those areas, to feel more joy. To feel more congruent and aligned, and they're meant to remind us that we have these choices that we can make changes. And when I say changes, I mean big or teeny, teeny, teeny changes that are important to us. They're small, but they still move the needle. Don't underestimate the power of small changes. OK. But the key is to take action. So, if any of this resonates, what is the one thing you're going to do in the next seven days? As a result, I want you to give yourself a week, give yourself seven days. Don't wait till day 7. Right? What are you gonna do? Think about it. But then really, really do it. It makes a difference.

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Thanks so much for listening. Don't forget to subscribe to this podcast so you don't miss an episode. If you want my weekly doses of inspiration and motivation, click the link and the show notes to subscribe. And if you've been asking yourself how to figure out that next step in your career, I've got a career clarity guide just for you. Check out the show notes for the link until next time my friends keep digging deep and keep stepping into how incredibly powerful you are.


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