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Managing your time

I’ll never forget the first time my daughter said I didn’t spend enough time with her. Well, she said: you don’t ever spend time with me, and she didn’t say that calmly.

On the facts, it wasn’t accurate. We go on weekly dates. We spend time together - sometimes it’s her watching Bluey or me doing her hair. We talk a lot, and I love listening to her stories.

So recently I told her: Maya, I could spend everyday with you and it wouldn’t be enough for you. She said: I know I just love you a lot.

Do I feel guilty for working, doing the things that light me up that take me out of the house, exercising to feel strong, and going out with friends?

No. But it took me some time to get there.

I used to feel nothing I did was ever going to be good enough for anyone, but I started really looking at the facts — all the evidence that I’m doing more than enough.

It won’t be perfection and that’s ok because no one is doing all of this perfectly.

I care about doing things well, including parenting for which there is no manual— but standards are not the same as a zero sum perfection game.

Let’s release the guilt we feel when things don’t go as expected.

Let’s release the guilt when we’re with our kids or family and not working, or working into the evening and not with the fam.

Release the guilt that you should be doing the thing you aren’t doing in that moment.

You’re doing more than enough.

You’re doing a great job in this season.

You’re doing what’s immediately in front of you and that’s ok.

Remind yourself of the evidence of all the things you do, all you’ve achieved, and everyone who gets taken care of because of you.

You got this.


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