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“Perfect Timing” isn't real

When I was in the thick of the long-hour grind as a young attorney in big law, I remember telling a partner I was working with that I didn’t have time to take a vacation.

He was a senior partner at the firm with over 30 years of experience, and he often spoke about his grandchildren and his family.

He turned to me and said: Arivee (pronounced correctly by the way👏🏽), there will never be a “perfect time” to take a vacation, take it anyway.

There will never be a “perfect time” to have a relationship and get married (if that’s what you want), do it anyway.

There will never be a “perfect time” to do a lot of things you want to do. Do them anyway.

I hadn’t gone to him as a “mentor” (although that’s exactly what he became to me) seeking advice; he was simply listening to me as we were talking and he recognized I might need to consider another perspective on my belief that it wasn’t the right time for things I wanted to do.

I traveled with friends to three different countries within that year and everytime I told myself that it wasn’t a good time for vacation, I considered what I actually had going on — not what people “could” need me for, or what “could” happen without me.

And most of the time, while there was a lot happening in my cases, I went on vacation anyway.

Because there would never be a perfect time to go.

I was not married back then, didn’t have my 3 kids, had not pivoted in my career yet, had no podcast, was not coaching or speaking…none of that. (Hello, time and energy!)

So these days it’s more important than ever to recognize when I need a vacation, rest, and when I need to carve out time just for me - whether it’s to move my body, write down my thoughts in my notes app, or go get coffee outside and sit by myself.

Alone time is precious. As is vacation and all the things you need and want to do.

Give yourself permission to do them.

You might feel guilt and that’s normal. You’re human. Guilt will tell you that now is not a good time and what you “should” be doing instead.

But don’t let that guilt overpower what you want to do and need to do to take care of yourself.

For you.

No “perfect timing” necessary.


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