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Talking with Joy Part II

Humble Rising E78 Transcript April 24 2023

[00:00:00] We all deserve to have fulfilling careers and lives. We deserve to experience joy and peace, and freedom and all of those things that make us feel truly alive.

[00:00:20] It takes a lot of courage. For us to take the reins in our lives and take action that honors the deepest parts of ourselves in this current season of life, it takes a lot of courage to lean into growing and to lean into learning, and to know when it's time to make a change. I am Arivee. I'm a first generation Latina mom of three and life and high performance coach to women just like you.

[00:00:50] And this podcast is for all of us looking to grow and learn and explore what a joyful and fulfilling life and [00:01:00] career can look like. And how to start living into that life right now. We're going to go deep and we're going to honor our truth in this podcast, and the best thing is we're gonna do it together.

[00:01:13] So welcome to the Humble Rising Podcast.

[00:01:25] I don't have a go at depression anymore. I don't allow myself to fall to the bottom of the pit anymore. A relapse. Yes, I know when I'm sliding down it. Yes, I know what it feels like and I make a decision to either stop it at that point and just rest or work out what it is. Can I fix it? Can I not fix it?

[00:01:43] If I can fix it, then do it. If you can't, then just be with it for a bit, but always think that it will change. This is part two of a two-part episode of my Conversation with Stress Management therapist and Coach Joy Langley. If you didn't catch part [00:02:00] one, which is episode 77, go back. Listen to that one first, because this episode is a continuation of that conversation, and there's so much in that episode that will serve you and that I'm betting is going to resonate a lot with you in the previous episode.

[00:02:22] Joy also shares her personal story, so you don't wanna miss that. But before we get into part two, Let me just remind you of who Joy is. Joy Langley is a certified coach and stress management therapist based in the UK. She is also the author of Navigating Stress that was released in 2021.

[00:02:44] We all need to recognize the things in life that stress us out, then commit to changing negative emotional patterns, behaviors, and thinking habits. Her big mission is to alleviate human suffering. And she does this by [00:03:00] helping people get back to their happy place via transformational coaching and therapy conversations.

[00:03:06] Joy has shared that the maternal side of her family has a history of poor mental health and joy, experienced anxiety and depression during her twenties. Then tragically in 2018, her 23 year old son committed suicide the day after her birthday after living with bipolar for longer than he could bear. Joy has also had more than her fair share of close family bereavements.

[00:03:33] So mental and emotional wellbeing are really a non-negotiable way of life. Joy always says that no one should be asked to sacrifice health. Relationships or their sanity because of the rules of their industry or their profession. And because the only constant in life is change, we all need tools on how to navigate the messiness and beauty of this life.[00:04:00]

[00:04:00] I'm really glad that you are joining me now for part two of my conversation with Joy. Joy, you shared something that I heard that really resonates with me. And it's when you said, Our experience is things happen. It's about what you make them mean, what meaning you give them in your life. And I know you also had a post recently on LinkedIn, so whoever's listening, you should follow Joy on LinkedIn.

[00:04:28] I'll link it in the show notes, but you should follow her because her posts are really good. You had a post about our thoughts creating our reality. Can you talk a little bit more about that? What do you mean? Yeah, for sure, and this whole idea about thinking. Human beings think an awful lot. It's a bit like having the clouds in the sky.

[00:04:46] they, they pass by. There's one every, every couple of like, well, more than every couple of seconds isn't there? So thoughts happen, but if you make it mean something, then you end up enacting [00:05:00] something. So thoughts link to emotions. And then between those two, it leads to your actions. So the actions are what plays out now.

[00:05:08] So me and you talking right this minute, the actions thoughts before were ave thinking, Ooh, I'll invite Joy onto a podcast. Joy thinking, Ooh, that's a nice idea. I like Arivee. And then you organize it and boom, action. We're talking right now. Okay. But I could at any point, I suppose I could have, depending on my temperament, Because I'm an open-minded person.

[00:05:30] I'm open to like anyone, like, just talk to me. I'm, I'm up for it. But I could have been a very suspicious person and a very like, you know, insular person. And when you invited me, I could've said, Hmm, I don't think I'll do that. No, she's probably gonna ask me things and make me look stupid. No, not gonna do that.

[00:05:49] Not gonna do that. And so, My outcome or my result would be that I don't talk to you and I have this opinion that the world is against me and people are trying to trip [00:06:00] me up. And because I've decided that's the case, I've generated more of it as well. So kind of like a self-fulfilling prophecy. But I'm the same person.

[00:06:07] You are the same person. But those two outcomes are completely different. Mm-hmm. Either I'm talking to you or I'm not. Mm-hmm. But I will make it, I will justify it with my own experiences and my own temperament and I then I therefore I will get more of what I've always got. Mm-hmm. So that reality thing, and, and it's a hard one saying to someone that you create your own reality, cuz that's, that feels really cruel thing, thing to do.

[00:06:31] But what I'm saying is that, You know, whatever you think in your feeling, there will be some action that follows it. And that might be something that you do all the time as a pattern. And you don't question it, you just do it. Mm-hmm. But if you sat down with someone, you know, it could be a therapist, could be a, a good friend who said actually, There must be some other ways of looking at this.

[00:06:52] And you all sat down and you played a game. And I love the game of either using a coin, so there's two sides to a coin. There's another way of looking at this, [00:07:00] and there's a beach ball with the six colors around the outside of plastic. Well you got, you've got those two. Great. So there's about six or seven colors around the outside, and I say, well, whatever problems happening to you, there's probably another six or seven ways of looking at it.

[00:07:14] And that's just planting in someone's mind that, woo, what you are thinking. Isn't necessarily the whole story and what you are thinking doesn't mean that it's true. And what do you mean there's other alternatives? Joy. Yeah. There are other alternatives like parallel universes alternatives out there. Yeah.

[00:07:33] And and that's what, that's the main job that I do ave. Is getting you to think differently. Yes. And getting you to want to think differently. Because you don't have to change. There's no, there's no rule that says you have to change. But if you're not getting what you want out of life, and I, and I tend to use my mood as my kind of barometer for life.

[00:07:52] You know, am I doing well? Am I not doing well? Am I happy? Am I sad? What's going on? You know, I like to stay in a good place. So bad things are happening [00:08:00] for me. I kind of work out, hmm, how have I contributed to it? So somewhere in that is, I, I tell people you do have to take responsibility for your part in something.

[00:08:10] You can't just go around blaming everyone. I can't blame you all the time, ave. It's a relay's fault. Yeah, it's her fault. No joy. Actually, the two of you, even if we just put it down the middle, split it down the middle, 50 50, 50% to you, 50% tove, you know, but really take some responsibility for what's happening to you.

[00:08:27] So I'm, I'm always getting people to look at alternative ideas that that's the fun of it. Knowing that your thoughts do lie to you. That's a huge one. That struck me a while back. They, they, they lie to you. What do you mean? They lie to me if I'm thinking it must be true. Uh, ran, ran through my head. Why would I lie to myself?

[00:08:47] Well, it's just a case of you, your thoughts. There are lots of them and I call it a factory just churning out lots of thoughts. Ave doesn't mean that they mean very much, it's just your mind does its thing your he beats. Your [00:09:00] lung processes, the oxygen, guess what your head does? It runs through an awful lot of ideas.

[00:09:06] It doesn't mean they're true. So our job as an adult is to challenge them and question them, ave. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And that's what another part of it is. Challenging the thought and finding another way of looking at it. And that can save your life. Be quite honest. Yes, in that moment, yes. Um, it's definitely changed my life, um, for the better.

[00:09:26] And for me as a coach, one of the things that I'm always most interested in is not necessarily the story, like what happened, it's more of your relationship with the story. How you view, well, like you said, what you're viewing the story. What are you making that story mean to you? So we spend less time in the like, Ooh.

[00:09:44] And then he said, what? And then she said, what? And then he emailed what, we don't spend time there because I'm not trying to get into the story. I'm trying to understand how you're viewing the story and how what you're attaching to it. Exactly. And that for many people, they've never been asked those questions.

[00:09:59] [00:10:00] Absolutely. And so when you talk about the sh the, the mindset shift and someone thinking differently about something, it also makes them feel more, I think, empowered. They're like, oh, I have the ability to shift my perspective. And then if this is my, if this is a perspective that I do believe this, then, then you have, sometimes you have decisions to make.

[00:10:19] Right. Especially for people who are in toxic work environments. You have decisions you can make that's hard. Yeah. It's, I mean, that is so hard. Arivee, you know, for me, work and, and the fu the function of money and the purpose of money we are in, in the end. Doing things perhaps just to get money. The big question, the big question is how far will you stoop joy to do?

[00:10:44] What's, what, what will you not do then? You know, joy, you know, because I, cuz my, my mind is kind of weird and I just go to like, okay, joy, prostitution. Would you do that for money? Because that's my extreme thinking. Mm-hmm. And of course, prostitution has got nice posh names. People do it for a [00:11:00] living, men and women.

[00:11:00] Nothing wrong with it, but I think to myself, would I go there for money? And it's kind of, I do have a place where I draw a line. So when it comes to work, as much as your work may seem amazing and you've been there a long time, but if it's not making you feel good, I think you owe it to yourself to consider moving on and the how to move on.

[00:11:22] Okay. That's, you're right. That's where the coaching and the, the therapy staff and anything else might come into play, but yeah. Mm-hmm. How to do it. That's fine. That's where the solution finding starts to happen. But the, should I do it? Is it a good idea? I would always say to people, well, how do you feel?

[00:11:40] How do you feel? You know? Do you feel good? Do you feel like rubbish? How do you feel? What's every day like? You know? You know there's some good, there's some bad you, because I don't think you have to leave your job sometimes a rebate. I agree. Because that thing we said about perspective, I agree. You can change your whole attitude.

[00:11:58] That's right. Towards your work, can't you? [00:12:00] Which is interesting. How do I change my attitude towards my work? But it's possible to change your attitude towards your work and feel better about it because I have that kind of a, a framework where your thoughts affect your emotions and then they lead to your actions.

[00:12:15] I kind of call it simply the T framework, but you know, it's thoughts, feelings, behaviors. But I like t e A because I can remember it. Mm-hmm. But if you remember that and you think of it as an equation, Then if you change any of those parts in the equation, you'll get different results. So change the way that you feel about this Jo Joy.

[00:12:33] Stop dragging yourself into work and say, mm, another day in this office again. You know? How about, yes. Another day in this office again? Mm-hmm. Same words ave. Same words, different tone. The last one sounded very optimistic. Mm-hmm. The first one sounded like I was bored and I didn't wanna be there. Yeah. So those two feelings would then lead to a different, Action and different thoughts.

[00:12:58] Mm-hmm. So [00:13:00] knowing that you perhaps can control things a bit, that that's useful for human beings. Cause otherwise we feel, well we give up. Mm-hmm. Basically, don't we? Mm-hmm. We give up. And I think giving up. Is where it leads into depression and other not so pleasant feelings, but depression as a, as a sign, as another emotion.

[00:13:20] That we have a powerful one ave. It has got a message for us. Yes. I think it's like if someone knocking on the door and saying, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock. By the way, joy, what is it? You're depressed. Yes, I know. Knock, knock, knock. So what are you gonna do about it? What do you mean? What am I gonna do about it?

[00:13:34] Well, what we, what are we gonna do about it? Then? What are we gonna do about it? So, you know, it's a conversation that you're having with yourself and it's a, it's a sign that something's wrong. Mm-hmm. You know, I don't have a go at depression anymore. Mm-hmm. I don't allow myself to fall to the bottom of the pit anymore.

[00:13:53] Rebate. Yes. I know when I'm sliding down it. Yes. I know what it feels like and I make a [00:14:00] decision to either stop it at that point. And, and just rest or work out what it is. Can I fix it? Can I not fix it? If I can fix it, then do it. Yes. If you can't, then just be with it for a bit. Be gracious. Just be with it for a bit, but always think that it will change.

[00:14:18] Mm-hmm. I know you're into your mantras and your affirmations ave, but one of mine is, um, it will pass. Mm. And I think when I've been really in bad situations and you just can't see your way out, that one has given me so much hope. It's like the sun coming out when it's been raining, isn't it? It will pass.

[00:14:36] This too will pass. It's like, oh, thank God for that. Because now it's put me into my imagination and my imagination is in the future, and it's seeing a brighter future. So we have to also recognize that our imaginations are very powerful. And something doesn't have to be happening to us. For us to have that emotion, we can just be thinking about it.

[00:14:58] Yes. So what we're thinking about [00:15:00] is how we use that imagination. We spend our time worrying about stuff. We have to be very careful. Very, very careful. But, uh, it's a nice game. Well, it's a horrible game, be quite honest. Ave makes you feel bad, but I'm, I'm very mindful of whether, is this thought true joy, especially when you're guessing joy.

[00:15:18] I was, I was looking to my left because I have the sticky note that says feelings are temporary. I've had this here for like three, four years and then I have another one Perfect. That I have that says I'm worthy of whatever it is that I desire. Absolutely. These are things that I have. I just have those two sticky, the prompts.

[00:15:40] Yes. Just, I just look, I'll look at 'em real quick. Yep. Yep. And it's, it's a reminder to me to, to check my thoughts, right? To just never be complacent with my thoughts and not just believing everything for people. I always say, don't have an affirmation that you couldn't believe. Like I, that's not helpful to you.

[00:15:58] Right. It has to be something that [00:16:00] you're like, I can, I can consider that perspective. Exactly. Another one I used to have joy on my computer monitor was What's another perspective on this? Exactly what you were saying. I used to have that one too. Yeah. Out my street. Oh, you're we're singing from the same hym sheet.

[00:16:15] That's what it, that that's what that is. A relay. Yes. Yes. Because we don't ever consider another perspective. I sometimes think ak, should they be teaching us this at school? Because I don't think anyone taught me this stuff. Yes. Would I, would I have paid attention? Would it have just been another lesson that I've been, oh, not and yawning.

[00:16:33] Oh, not another lesson on psychology. No, no. Wouldn't that just be it? I think it's the way it's taught, the way it's has to be examples. Scenarios. I think it could be really engaging. But you how kids are too. Yeah. So, but we perhaps we do owe it to them to give them some insights into feelings and behaviors and other people's motives, our own motives, you know?

[00:16:59] Yes. Without [00:17:00] getting too, too heavy into it, because they're in, especially when they're at school, they've got all their friends and friendship groups going wrong, and they all fall out with each other. You must have been a, you must have seen it a few times. They fall out with each other. It's the end of the world.

[00:17:13] It feels that way. Yeah. But you wanna rush in and fix it and Yeah. And before you know it, it's all back to normal. It's quite, it's strange. Um, I What happened? No, it's fine now. Oh, okay. All right. Oh, okay. Exactly, exactly, exactly. So they, they do sort things out, but in a way, what we're doing, we're finding our way through this emotional minefield, aren't we?

[00:17:35] Yes. Getting burnt sometimes. Oh, crying, screaming, oh, you're not talking to me anymore. And then calming down and then regrouping and doing something else. So we are learning something. I mean, you can't, you can't learn. You can't learn just through reading and writing. You have to do, you do have to feel it sometime.

[00:17:53] Experiential, they call it. Yes, you do have to have the experience at Refa, so we can't deny someone of the experience, [00:18:00] but. Teaching them simple things, how human beings work, the, the, um, role of, of, of, of stress. You know, why we get anxious, uh, what it means. Is there an alternative way of looking at it? Yeah.

[00:18:11] You know, you can imagine children learn very quickly. They, they, they'd be like, coaching me and you going, mom, is there another way of looking at this? You know? Yeah. I would love, I would love that my children did that. I do practice things with them. Like I do, do. What's another way you can look at it?

[00:18:26] What's another possibility? And that takes a lot of presence and attention that I don't always have, let's be honest. Yeah. But when I have the space, I love engaging with them in that way because they really respond. If I'm rushed with it, it doesn't work. They, they can see it from a mile away. Yeah. You need the time.

[00:18:45] You need the time and, and children copy. Mm-hmm. So they'll copy you. Mm-hmm. And I, and I think if they get the results that they want out of that conversation, then they'll, as a, as a tactic, they'll use it. Mm-hmm. Because me and you as, as coaches, we're just giving people strategies, the [00:19:00] overall arching what we're doing, and then the tactics, how to carry it out.

[00:19:04] Mm-hmm. So children are good at picking up and they're pretty sharp. Yes. You know, Good tactic. Persuade Yes. How to, how, how to persuade people. How to win friends and influence people. Yes. You know? Yes. All these titles, they, they would just love all of how to Win Friends and influence people. That sounds really exciting.

[00:19:21] How can we influence mom? Joy, before I let you go, I wanna ask you a few questions and then I'm gonna ask you where everyone can find you. So the first question is, and this is tough for most people, what's your favorite book and why? I, I, I do read a lot. I. But, and, and my favorites have changed over time.

[00:19:41] Mm-hmm. Uh, one that I, I keep coming back to, it's by, um, this guy called Bear Grills and G R Y L l S. So he's a outdoor person. He's like a, you know, in the wild doing all kinds of crazy things. And the book that I love is called Soul Fuel, f u e L. [00:20:00] Mm-hmm. And it's almost like one page a day with a nice little saying in there.

[00:20:05] And he's a Christian. Which, nothing wrong with being, nothing wrong with being a Christian. Yeah. Um, he's not spoken about a lot. Christianity doesn't get as much KU dance as it used to. What he does at Reve is he literally is looking at a part of the Bible sometimes and just saying something so it's so relatable.

[00:20:23] And I read that one of the pages every night or two. And I, it just puts me in this really calm state to go to bed because I think people, when they go to bed, should be trying to calm themselves down. They're not watching anything exciting, not watching television, not watching. You know it. It's actually calm your brain down.

[00:20:42] Be kind to your brain. So that book I love. So it's called Soul Fuel by Bear Grills Love, love, love that book. I come back to that so often. It's taken me a whole year to read it. I've been savoring every page. Mm. And then going back and reading it cuz the different sections in there and amazing book.[00:21:00]

[00:21:00] Mm-hmm. Really influenced me. Another book of a similar kind that, that influenced me a while, a while back now was, um, conversations with God. By Neil. I think it was Neil Donald Walsh. I think that's his surname. And that book shocked me by the title because I must admit it's um, anything that puts the word.

[00:21:20] Got on the front of it from my parents' perspective, you're being blasphemous. You're doing, oh, they just go on about it. So, but this man talking about it, conversations with God, and it was about him having this moment when he was talking to God and he was writing stuff and he wrote the book. And when you read the book, it really is quite uplifting.

[00:21:39] Mm. Not quite, not what I thought it was gonna be. So that was another book that I really was into. It sat by my bed bedside table and it, and I just read it every single night. So that was a good book. And there are other books since, since then that I've read, but I don't, I don't read as much as I used to and I don't read as quickly.

[00:21:57] Ve I seem to have lost that ability to like, you [00:22:00] know, almost eat a book a day. You know, like, oh, just eat it. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. It takes me ages to read. I spend more time trying to savor it, trying to read it, and I know people say, go on to, um, get audio books and everything else, and every now and then I do, or I look at YouTube quick summary thing, just so you can get that little slice of something, but.

[00:22:19] There is something that happens when you read in terms of learning. Mm-hmm. But I don't think anyone can take that away from, from, from a human being. Yes. It's a different way of, of absorbing the information. Yes. All right, joy, last question for you. If you were to give any guidance to someone out there who feels like they may be experiencing burnout or a very high level of stress and they don't know where to start, But they feel it in their body.

[00:22:45] They can sense, this isn't me, this isn't affecting my functioning every day. What would be the guidance you would give them on where to start or begin? Yeah, I, I think I would definitely commend somebody for at least spotting that. Um, that there is a [00:23:00] problem and if there is someone close to them that they can say it to, because sometimes when things are happening to you, you are, you're convinced it's not serious enough.

[00:23:10] You're convinced it's you making it all up. So it'd be nice to get a perspective from someone who likes you and knows you. They can say, yeah, I've noticed you've been a bit, a bit down Joy. You know, then it might be a case of going to a doctor. You know, I dunno what access to the doctors are like in the us I know it's a lot of private healthcare and over in the UK it's free, quote unquote, but we're having problems getting to our doctors at the moment.

[00:23:33] Mm-hmm. Um, but yeah, trying to see a doctor. Now, doctors, obviously, they tend to get into the medication stuff and you might not want that. That's where they probably might go, but they might give you contact details for someone who can talk to you. So talking therapy, whether it's a counselor who does cognitive behavioral therapy, or a straight up person who just talks to you and has conversations.

[00:23:53] So there's different ways of just getting people to start talking things through because. I do think ave that the [00:24:00] medication is probably okay. I don't, don't always encourage people to do it, but it helps people. Nothing, nothing wrong with it. And then on top of it, I think just talking about where's this coming from?

[00:24:11] You know, I. Why is it here or what can we do about it? Because we don't have deep conversations with anyone about who we are as human beings. Riva. Yeah. And even me as a therapist, anytime I have really deep conversations is with my friend, my other friend who is also a therapist. Mm-hmm. And we have this really like deep, heavy conversations.

[00:24:31] Cause I know that she'll understand stuff. Mm-hmm. But do I have that with my partner? No. As much as I love him and he loves me, there's not much point talking about that. Mm. My sister, I can go to certain places too. So there's this idea that pick and choose who you talk to, but don't be mad or angry at your partner for not being that all, being person for you.

[00:24:51] Find somebody who is, because they might have other resources that they give to you that help you, but I would encourage you to try and find some [00:25:00] kind of help. So either first port of call talking to a friend. Your friend might, might encourage you to go to the doctors or go to the doctors yourself, but get that courage to do that.

[00:25:10] I mean, I would encourage you to like get somebody on your side to help you. Cause it's not an easy thing, ave. It's not admitting that you're not feeling good. It's not an easy thing. You feel so broken and you feel so beaten down and you feel as though you've let yourself down and then you feel you let everybody else down.

[00:25:26] So yes, you don't really want to. Consider it, which is why we keep going. Yes. We say, oh no, I'll be fine tomorrow. Yes, I'll be fine tomorrow. I'll be fine this evening. Yes, I'll be fine. Once, once I had a couple of glasses of wine, you know? So we start then finding coping mechanisms, which do probably cover it up for a bit, which probably do make you feel okay in the moment.

[00:25:45] Mm-hmm. But they never push away the problem that's there. No, it's temporary, isn't it? Oh, I resonate with what you just said so much. I remember I was embarrassed. I was embarrassed. Exactly. I was like, no, no, no. This is, I, [00:26:00] I can do this. No, this is, I, this can't be, no. I'd have to, I just have to think differently.

[00:26:04] I just have to think about this differently. Just one more day. I can do this for one more day. One more day, and then I. It got worse and worse. Yeah. And then my body broke down. That's right. The, the, the logical brain is, is, is it can be a friend cuz the, the emotional brain can get a little bit carried away with itself.

[00:26:20] It's a bit of a, a bit of a catastrophize with the emotional brain sometimes. Yes. So the logical brain saying, hang on, let's just think about this. Are we really that unwell? How about giving it one more day? Let's see what we feel like tomorrow. That's a very rational thought. But the emotional stuff, you go, oh my God, I can't function.

[00:26:37] Oh my God, I feel shaky. Oh my God, I don't wanna do this. Oh my God, I'm worrying. You know, like it's just really just going into overdrive. And so the rational brain can be useful, but I think that. You also knowing yourself and me also knowing myself. I, I spot very, very quickly when I hit a slump. Mm-hmm.

[00:26:53] When I've hit a, you know, the valleys and the troughs. When I come down into the valley in the hill, you know, what's it? The [00:27:00] valley? Well, the valley and then what's the top part? The mountain. The mountain. Peak. Peak. Peak. Peak. Thank you valley. The valleys and the peaks. Yes. When I'm in the valley, And I'm just waiting and I'm just resting.

[00:27:10] I'm monitor my own self. I think, well, are you really sad, joy? Or, you know, how long do you wanna be here for? And, and I just let myself be there. Say, give another hour, then how about another hour? Yeah. Okay. So then I stay in that place another hour and I sort of review it. So you've been sad for an hour.

[00:27:27] Joy, do you wanna come out of it or not? Another hour. Okay. Go for another hour. So I kind of coach myself through my emotions, but also being very compassionate and very kind. And the feelings of guilt and shame and embarrassment. They do all creep in. But that's because I know that I have been taught to worry an awful lot about what people think.

[00:27:48] It's a learned behavior. It's a learned pattern. What will say about me if I say, will she think I'm a weak person? Will she not be my friend anymore? [00:28:00] Will she go and tell other people that I'm in a bad place? What will she do with this information?

[00:28:04] I'll just keep it to myself. So that whole self talk. And I'm very good at self-talk. I can have a conversation by myself with different characters. But the self-talk is very interesting, very, very interesting. So watch it sometimes. Write it down. Yes, write it down so you can read it back.

[00:28:21] Another point later on in the day when you're clearer about it, it might look completely different and you might laugh at it. Think that is so ridiculous. It felt so real this morning. Look at me now. You know, so another thing that I read was, it's like the weather system and I'm sat in front of a really big window right now and I'm looking at the clouds and the sun's just come out.

[00:28:40] So you have to remember that the emotions and the changing nature of them, it's a bit like watching the weather. Suddenly the clouds come over and it goes a bit dark, and then the, then they part, and then the light comes up and then it rains for a bit and then it stops and then it might, the emotions are just there.[00:28:54] They're just moving all of the time. All of the time.

[00:29:00] So I wanna thank you so much for joining me on this podcast in this episode. I absolutely loved having you. You need to come back, but let's, let's share with people how they can find you and how they can work with you.

[00:29:19] So I'm on LinkedIn and um, I think I'm down there as Joy Langley. I don't think I'm, cause I've got a second name, but my name is Joy Langley Joy's my middle name. So Joy Langley's probably there under, and you'll find it. Or you can go to my website, which is actually joy So again, you can contact me that way.

[00:29:36] Yeah, those are the main places that I can think of. I don't have lots of profiles. I'm thinking about TikTok. I haven't really got into it. I'm not an Instagram person. So, um, LinkedIn is my thing. LinkedIn website is perfect. Well, thank you so much, joy. My pleasure, Arivee. It's been, it's been lovely. I mean I think I've spoken too much today and I haven't given you a chance to speak, but it has been.

[00:29:57] it's been a lovely conversation. I've really [00:30:00] enjoyed it. It made me feel very relaxed, so thank you for that. Thank you.

[00:30:16] Thanks Joy. Thank you so much for listening. If you are a woman lawyer or a woman working in other fast paced corporate environments and you're looking less overwhelmed and unsure and more empowered and fulfilled in your career and your personal life, Join my Women Empowering Women email community by going to a to sign up, or you can click the link in the note of this episode.

[00:30:47] Don't forget to also grab my five step guide on how to get clarity on what needs to change to feel good about your life in this season, and how to make that change happen. You can get [00:31:00] or. Scroll down in the notes to this episode and click on the link. Finally, if you're loving these episodes, spread that love by reviewing and rating this podcast so we can get more women feeling heard, feeling seen, inspired, and empowered.

[00:31:20] Until then, remember that you have way more power than you can imagine to create the change you want and deserve in your life to live. A life you feel good about. You're powerful now. So harness it now is your time.[00:32:00]


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